We all hide behind walls, this is especially true in the day and age of the internet. Identity and hiding behind anonymity gives an edge, much like not showing cards during a poker game, we can bluff, lie and even lead someone on. Although, the knowing that I am talking about here is different, it is when we simply refuse to show our true selves.
It is funny that we often hide ourselves in our emotions. Emotions are for sure part of our personality, but it rarely is who we really are. Think about it, when we speak with someone in anger, what shows up is the spirit of anger. We convey things in a fiery manner and utter words that we come to regret later, but what if we come to a conclusion that anger is part of our personality. It becomes deeply ingrained that we don’t even notice it. It becomes a justification, that creates a different persona from who we are normally. Severing the connection from our higher self, the one that sees everything from a wider view.
Conversation happens two ways, its either we keep a higher trail of thought or we devolve into the same level as the other. Like water trickling down, we fill conversations with thoughts that helps the discourse to bloom into a meaningful garden of words. It tries to link both head and heart together so we could speak freely and openly about things that satisfies our needs. It gives and it takes, so we do not feel taken advantaged of and we do not feel heavy afterwards. To be lifted up instead of being brought down.
Though as I was thinking through this, I realized that sometimes we also need to go down to the same level in a conversation. A heated discussion can bring out deeper thoughts and concerns that normally won’t happen in a objective talk. Balancing out the fire with an arbiter and or rules can probably help us create a healthy space to speak out. However, this depends both people respect the rules and bind themselves to them.
Overall, hiding oneself is a defense mechanism… We just need to learn how to uncover, hidden things or concerns that we have. Being direct requires trust and a certain degree of understanding, knowing who you are speaking with and being attune to certain realities can help build either a beautiful garden or a cold chat.